Last week I dropped in with Soul Sister. This was the first time in a while that we were able to really catch up like we used to before I moved. I call her Soul Sister because she is like a sister to me. She and I tease each other and at times argue like sisters. I use the word Soul because I believe the concept of ‘soul mate’ can exist among friends. In many ways she reminds me of me. She and I are both very observant, we think a lot, we are both goal setters and share the same spirituality. She is the closest mirror that I have in my life (Redirection: 7 Lessons of Living Differently). She is a great soundboard, support and see’s in my life and in me what I don’t see and I see in her life and in her what she doesn’t see. Everyone deserves to have a friendship like this one.
I was betrayed, in college, which changed how I live my life. As a result I went into self-preservation mode and I cut ties with everyone I knew except family. I didn’t know what else to do? My best friend E broke through the wall I built and was the first person I trusted. More good came as a result of my wall coming down. The people who entered into my life since are the best friends and friendships I have known.
As a result of my betrayal I have become more reflective than I have ever been and I express gratitude in a way I never did. There are four things that come to mind when I think about my friends and friendships that I use as a guide for new potential friends.
I have several friends who I see once a year when I visit home for the holidays. While we don’t talk a lot throughout the year we always are able to pick up our friendship where we left off like no time has passed.
Loosing Track of Time
Another sign of a good friendship is when you lose track of time because you are in such good company, having a great conversation and having fun. There was a point when I lived back home where I would designate five-hour time slots to be with a friend because I knew we had so much to talk about, and knew we would lose track of time and I didn’t want to cut hanging out with my friends short because I enjoyed them and their company.
A lot of my friendships that I’ve had in my adult life have been with people I met once and reconnected with later in life. Soul Sister and I are a great example. She was my college roommate my freshman year of college. She and I kept crossing paths each year in college. We became friends shortly after college and over time became best friends. Then there is my friend D3. He and I went to high school together. We never crossed paths until my senior year of college and a year later we became friends on a student film. I have so many more friendships like this.
I never think about support when I think about quality friendships because I feel they go hand in hand. (Out with the Mold) This year in my year of dreaming big my goals have moved beyond anything I would imagine a year ago. They are shaped by my lessons of 2013 where I started to see the impossible as possible. As I push myself into my fear, fear and doubt follow. In letting friends know my goals or secret goals I get complete support. I am glad I have friends who see my potential as I see potential in them.
Life has interesting ways of teaching lessons. Learning about true friends and friendships has been one of my greatest lessons and has humbled me, blessed me and made me so grateful.