I have had three Valentine’s in my life. When I moved to LA I dated a man for two months. Our first date was the weekend before Valentine’s Day. It’s always exciting to meet men who are mature, have similar interests and can carry a good intellectual conversation. At the end of the date he gave me a single rose, which was hidden the entire date. He said, “Since Valentines Day is around the corner, I didn’t want you to go without.” I didn’t expect anything for Valentine’s day and I appreciated his thoughtfulness. Another Valentine experience was with a man I dated for a year. We worked together, collaborated together and talked about our future together. I remember how excited I was to have a real Valentine and excited that he was my Valentine. That year, Valentine’s Day came and went like any other day. For those of you who are single, like myself, Valentine’s Day will most likely be just another day. But unlike any other day, Valentine’s Day may have a sharp sting. It is a not so friendly reminder that you are single or if you just went through a break up, a reminder that you are newly single. Here are a few tips to help you change your perspective on your perceived Valentine’s day slump.
1. Acknowledge the qualities that make you special.
My change in perspective came when I realized that I am a loving, caring and a thoughtful person. I realized that someone with these qualities is not meant to be alone. See the qualities that make you special and know that someone is out there that will love those exact qualities. If you want to get deeper into visualization picture yourself in the future in the relationship that you want with the romantic partner that you want. Or create a vision board about the love you desire.
2. See yourself through your friends eyes.
It is always hard to hear a friend cut themselves down and believe that they are less deserving of something that you know they deserve. You won’t hear that non-sense. And there are times that we cut ourselves down and believe we are less deserving of something that we truly deserve. And our friends won’t hear that non-sense either. Our friends see our true beauty and we see theirs, but what if we saw ourselves through our friends eyes? The next time you feel sad stop and try to truly see yourself through your friends eyes. To do this, really listen to your friends and hear how they speak of your nature and your impact in their life and hear what they love and admire about you. Be present in their presence and watch the way they react to you when they see you and respond to you when you are in their presence. It’s very humbling and amazing to see the world with this awareness.
3. “Bless that which you want.” – Jeffery Platts
Jeffery Platts wrote a blog post called “Does your Jealousy Keep you Single.” I read the post years ago and loved his suggestion to “bless that which you want.” What he means is he blesses the couples that cross his path that resemble the type of relationship that he wants for his future. After reading his post, I have since adopted his practice. There are some couples and married couples that make relationships and marriage look painful. Then there are couples and married couples that make relationships look amazing. I bless and express gratitude to the universe for showing me a relationship that resembles the type of love or relationship I want in the future. I also bless and express gratitude to the universe for showing me the marriages and families that resemble what I want in the future.
4. Express Gratitude.
Counting your blessings is one of the best ways to change your perspective in any situation. Thank the universe for the relational bullets that you’ve dodged like not settling in a relationship, not getting involved with a partner that doesn’t have their life together or is not supportive etc. Express gratitude to the universe each time you meet a person who has the qualities that you are looking for in a partner. Thank the universe for signs that you are on the right path in life and in love. The signs are all around, we just need to be present to see and hear them. Be grateful for the life that you are living on your own, what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown. The more you know you the better life will be in the future.
5. Spread Love.
When I worked at a bookstore a stranger told me, “Everyone deserves a valentine on Valentine’s Day.” The man said this as he handed me a single chocolate rose. This was one of the kindness gestures someone has ever done for me. In that fashion, I have decided to spread extra love to my close friends and we all did as kids. I sent my friends Valentines with a kind note to know that I appreciate and think about them. If you spread love wherever you go, you will only get that much more love in return. There is nothing like putting a smile on someone’s face and making someone’s day a little special. Try it. 🙂
Life is amazing. There is so much to celebrate. Celebrate the love that surrounds you from your family and friends on the day that celebrates love.
You are worth greatness and all that is good. Believe in the possibility. Happy Valentines Day!
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2 Comments Add yours
The Universe gave me that gift this past fall, it was very humbling. And I am grateful for that experience.
I like the idea of seeing yourself through the POV of your loved ones. This can be very uplifting.