Almost three years ago I was on the biggest movie of my career (at the time.)  I was successful at living and working in LA since I moved.  I was living my dream and it was more amazing than I imagined.  Almost three years ago I was also on the hardest movie of my career.  I was grounded with the reality of the industry from the start, but my reality shifted as I continued further down my career path.  I felt stuck.  I didn’t know what to do?  I grabbed for anything I could to balance that hard time.  I started to go out more, hosted happy hours, hung out with friends as much as I could and nothing changed.  Silver linings can be hard to find at some of life’s most difficult times.  Below are the steps I took to change my perceptive on my difficult situation.

 1. Wallowing in your sorrow does nothing for you.

No one wants an Eeyore in their life.  It’s okay to be frustrated and complain to an extent.  Constantly complaining about anything and everything puts you in a stale mate because you are choosing to focus on the negative. Over time, people will get tired of hearing you complain.  People may even start to avoid you. I decided not to date a guy and broke up with another because all he did was complain, did nothing about it and it started to weigh me down.

2.  (Forget whatever society tells you about emotions and) feel your emotions.

I cried to my mother in this particular case.  I needed that cry.  It was a nice release.  It is so important to experience and feel your emotions because emotions tell us so much about how we really feel about someone or something thing.  Don’t be afraid to feel, feelings make us human.  Clarity comes when you allow yourself to let your emotions pass through you.

3.  Pain is temporary.

I am really good at seeing the silver lining in hard situations. I even help my friends find the silver linings in their lives.  Sometimes it’s even hard for me to see one, when there is a thunderstorm in my life.  Or at those moments when you feel backed into a corner or feel like you’re in a dark cave.  What has kept me going in those moments, based on life experience is knowing that my situation is temporary and it will change.

4. There is a lesson in everything.  Change your Perspective (or Focus) so you are able to see them.

The best lessons are often disguised as the hardest moments of your life.  In my moment of frustration I stopped.  In that moment I told myself this is happening for a reason.  What am I not seeing?  What am I meant to learn?  And the answer came.  In this particular case, I changed my perspective about five times and each time a new answer came.  All the answers I discovered were true and in hindsight I found the main answer that I wouldn’t have been able to see had I not chosen to take the first step to change my perspective.

From one hard moment I learned a new way to cope with a hard situation.  I was grounded in knowing that the hard moment was going to pass and that it was part of a larger picture that would help me in my future.  Plus, I practiced being mindful in a hard of moment of my life, which is not easy.  I hope these steps offer hope to you if you are in a hard place, help you change your perspective or in those moments in the future when you are in a hard place that it helps you see the light.  If you try any of these steps, I would love to hear about your discoveries. 🙂

We each have the capacity to make our lives beautiful. What type of picture are you painting?