Mindful Monday #41 – Escape

Each year November has a lot of personal traditions that regard personal reflection and goal setting for the new year.  We are half way though the month and this time it all feels very different.  I have always reflected on my life as I go, however this blog has had a major impact on my happiness and over all sense of gratitude because I am documenting my lessons versus doing my best to remember them.

“I do not recognize myself and I can not fathom how different my life has been since January”, I told a woman who I met through community service.  Upon reflection in March and May, I felt that my year was fragmented based on specific emotions and experiences.  Upon reflection, I see how everything has come together in a way that is both humbling and beautiful.   I have touched on this topic for several weeks now, my life is at a cross roads prompted by life.  This has been a unique experience because of the intentions and goals that I set and how I am choosing to respond to everything that has come my way.  My old self would usually jump on this cross roads and do what I can to guide it, but last year I learned to loosen my grip on life and this year I learned to let go.  On top of that, I told life I am letting go of anything that isn’t working for me.  The new me is doing what it can to stay calm and present.  I am trying to let the answers come to me versus seeking them out.  Being idle is one of the biggest challenges that has presented itself to me many times this year.  To my surprise answers are coming not in small doses, but in large waves and for that I am humbled and grateful.

“What caused you to change so much?”  The woman that I worked with at community service asked.  “Finding my voice,” I answered.  What I have come to learn and have thought about often is the following truth: the more you know yourself, the less willing you are to compromise yourself, your wants and your needs.  And the less willing you are to lie to yourself to live a life you don’t want, be surrounded by people you would be happier without and be someone you could not stand to be around at a dinner party.  This Mindful Monday quote presented itself to me as I wrote this.

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