Last year I learned to loosen my grip on life.
This year, I decided to let go of any remaining grip I had. The grip that I am talking about, is the grip that everyone has on their life from time to time, that makes life feel safe, secure and predictable. That very grip can lead you into a life that you may not want or keep you in a life that you dislike, because the fear of the unknown if far greater than the life that you know.
If you grip too tightly on life, you will eventually choke life itself and limit its possibility for you.
Life is like an unruly child and cannot be controlled no matter how much you want to shape it into your idea of what life “should” be for you. From what I have experienced and witnessed, life will never give up on you and will always try to redirect you when you are going down a path that is not intended for you. When you feel that life is giving up on you, in fact, you are giving up on it.
This year I walked with my hands wide open, palms facing up, ready to receive anything that came my way. This walk is thrilling and very scary. The moments of fear and doubt, whether it was for a moment or a few months, have been the hardest moments of this year. Three months into my goal to let go, I realized I needed to go further and let go of anything and everything that wasn’t working for me. My life has since unraveled into a skeleton of what it was when I started this journey. To my surprise, my life has since expanded in ways I could not imagine, has gotten lighter than ever before and I am the happiest I have ever been.
During this final stretch of my year, life challenged me to take letting go even further. How much farther can you go after letting go of everything that isn’t working for you? A week ago I would have asked that very question and I would not have known the answer.
I mentioned in a few posts that this fall has been a period of struggle. Out of pure exhaustion, I laid down, literally too weak to stand and whispered to the universe “I surrender”. A few hours later the storm passed. This whole time I thought I was doing well at letting go and facing fear. What life wanted from the start, was for me to let go fully of everything and surrender completely. All the energy I spent these past few months, waiting on a sign and waiting on an answer, could have been better spent, had I not been blinded by the fact that letting go is a process and this whole time I have worn a safety harness. I was weighing out the storm versus surrendering to it and allowing it to lead me where I need to go. Once I let the storm take the lead, the one answer I longed for presented itself to me a few hours later.
Today’s Mindful Monday quote is in regards to surrender. What is your grip on life? What are you holding on to and more importantly why?
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