As my month of writing approached last year, I said to the universe that I wanted to let go of anything and everything that wasn’t working for me. Letting go to that extreme, on top of a leap of faith, is a very powerful mixture. Be warned if you in anyway feel inspired to go down this path when you are ready. Once I surrendered to life, my life changed very quickly and sped up.
You really can never undo an action, unlearn or un-realize something, no matter how hard you try.
The further away I get from my decision to take the leap of faith, and now that I understand what it entails, I feel like I bit off more then I can chew. Even though I pushed through several hard moments last year and learned many wonderful things, looking to the future I still feel that I bit off more then I can chew. I can’t turn back now. I know there are more hard times ahead, I feel it with each boundary that I rub up against.
Last year, I chose to face any fear that life presented to me. (There was only one fear that I mindfully didn’t face because of it’s complexity. I am building up the courage toward facing that fear this year.) This year I have decided to be proactive and think about the things that I am holding on to that have been shaped by fear for years. My intention is to overcome the three things that I have identified, and I know these three things will take time as I start to pull the string to unravel them.
I am preparing myself for the battle or struggle that I am choose to walk toward. Courageous perhaps? Brave perhaps? I guess? While I feel it is necessary, it feels like a burden. Maybe that’s a good thing and maybe that is a call for me to continue moving forward? Last year, I committed to myself and to life that I will do this with my whole heart. Regardless of how challenging the struggle will be, I am all in. Even though this is necessary, it doesn’t mean I like it. It’s like touching a hot stove, when your natural reaction is to pull your hand away in safety, I am choosing to leave my hand on the stove metaphorically, and endure the pain to grow stronger because I know there is a truth or lesson to be discovered in that action. I am curious what unfolds going forward. Please send positive energy my way.
Happy Friday and have a great weekend.