Whew.  What a month. I hoped life would give me a little breather and it has to some extent.

This series on love and relationships has been interesting. I planned the topics I wanted to write about this month, but I did not anticipate where life or my writing would take me in relation to these topics. I end this months series where we all need to start when we talk about relationships and love and that is our relationship and the love that we have for our self.

The life, love and relationships that you have are a reflection of your internal world.  Do you have friendships and relationships that lift you up and help you grow or do they drain your soul?  Do you spend time with people who are not worth your time because you are afraid to be alone with you and your thoughts?  Are your thoughts words of encouragement and affirmation or are they sharp blades that break your heart and cut your soul?  Do you feel love in your life on a daily basis?  More importantly do you feel worthy of love that you encounter? 

Whatever is coming up for you as you read this do yourself a favor and honor it.  Listen to it and let it lead you where it wants to lead you, where you need to go emotionally or in life.  Your heart and life always want to lead you towards light and good.  Whether you believe it or not, you are worthy of greatness.

This month has involved nothing but matters of the heart and mortality.  While I have chosen to let the dust settle on my friendships I do so because I know what I deserve.  I am very loving and very caring and I am not willing to go on a journey with someone in a friendship or a romantic relationship who is not carrying their weight.  I have walked away from potential romantic relationships because I could see a clear end to the potential relationship after one or two dates.

I have seen and in some cases experienced how hard life can be when you compromise yourself and your life.  When I searched for my ideal job and asserted what I wanted, people told me that job that I wanted didn’t exist.  I asserted that if I can image the existence of my dream job, then it can exist.  When I was about to give up on that vision, I got my dream job and I have been the happiest I have ever been in my career.  With that under my belt, I believe in the existence of the love that encompasses what I am looking for and I am willing to wait to meet my equal.  I have already let go of expectations that others have placed on me to allow life to breathe and be what it needs to be for me.  Since I have let the dust settle on my friendships this month, shortly after and during my aunts passing, friends reached out to me, comforted and checked in on me and I am so grateful for them.

I trusted in life, my friendships and career and let go of all three and the life, career and relationships I am meant to have showed up.

I still have yet to assert my 2015 goals because of how chaotic this year continues to be for me.  Rather then judge myself and get upset, I choose to be kind to myself and take extra special care of me because I don’t have a lot of fear facing people in my life to talk to about this journey. I am thinking about tabling my 2015 goals for a later time and focusing on getting back to basics. (The goals that lead me to find my voice and start a blog, began as a result of meditation, yoga and improv.)

Getting back to basics will be my efforts to get back to soul rejuvenating activities that move beyond rest but into meditation, yoga, sound baths, art and any other activity that I learn about that will allow me to restore balance.  Remember the person who is the most worthy of the love that you would give to someone else, is you.  And the most important relationship that you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself.  Have a wonderful Friday.

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