A few weeks ago I attended a business woman’s mentoring event. As I drove to the location and approached the doors of the event there was no sense of nervousness that came over me. It wasn’t until I entered the room that I felt a bit nervous. Sticking to my old habits, I quickly found a high table and focused on the events program to plan which mentors I wanted to meet and get advice from. A fellow mentee came to my table and we began to talk. We had a conversation that was A-typical of an introductory conversation.  We talked about what we do for our careers, but discussed why we do it and what we want to do next. Each conversation I had that day was A-typical.  While we are women who work in several industries and encompass the spectrum of diversity, we all had the common goal to get to the next level of our career/ goal/ dream/ vision.  We each had passion, a passion that I believe everyone has or can have, if they tap into themselves and what they truly want.

I left the event that day excited about the advice I got from the mentors and was even more excited about the fellow mentees I met.  We are on the same step in life. I told a woman as we walked to our cars, “people say that women don’t get along. But that’s just not true. We do get along.” Then I thought and continued, “there was a time when I was surrounded by women who were jealous and didn’t support me.”  In that instant I realized that those women and people like them are far behind me.

The realization I had lingered with me. I thought about the new girlfriends that I have met within the past year and I realized, that for the first time, I have a solid group of girlfriends.  When I was younger and through college, I always had a group of girlfriends. The betrayal in college by a group of women, changed everything. Since then, the only female friendships I had were with women I met one on one, here and there, as I lived my life. It felt like the days of being among a group of female friends were far behind me, never to be in my life again. Once my female friendships became stronger then my male friendships, I longed for a solid group of girlfriends again.

What was it about my new friends and the women that I met at the mentoring event, that is different from women I met in college? These women have a strong sense of self, the women in college did not. They were jealous, envious and insecure. People who have a strong sense of self don’t get jealous and envious and don’t revert to negative comments, because they know in their heart that they have what it takes to make it. They know that everyone can have their place in the sun.

The other thing that is different is me. I have gained a new sense of confidence that has changed who I attract into my life and what I will or won’t accept from others. I’ve become less polite and more vocal.  Letting go led me to slam doors life left and right from chapters and habits that no longer serve me. This shift has also affected my relationship with men too, (which I will write about in a future post). Finding my voice and healing my heart led me here. Think about the company you keep. Do you sincerely enjoying that company? What does the company you keep say about you?

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