One year ago today, I was in Arizona for my month of writing and went out for a girls night. A week prior, I had just forgiven myself for my actions or lack of action in a relationship that went on longer then it should have and weighed heavily on me since we break up. That night I met someone unexpectedly and he was a game changer, I called him my soulmate. We dated briefly but split because of timing. While my soulmate felt significant when we dated, what came after him has had the biggest impact on my life.
1. Enjoy the moment.
As much as I wanted to continue to date my soulmate, I anticipated our end before he did. In the moment, I chose to be present and express gratitude for dating a man that encompassed what I look for in a romantic partner.
2. Heartbreak is fantastic!
Once we broke up I cried every day at the loss of the soulmate. While my heart hurt deeply, I was grateful that my heart was hurting. As crazy as it sounds, the fact that my heart was hurting meant that I opened my heart for the first time in years and was vulnerable again. I knew that forgiving myself for the previous relationship made vulnerability with the soulmate possible. Plus, feeling pain meant that my heart was open and I was allowing emotions to flow through me organically. (How to Feel Your Emotions)
3. Your soulmate DOES EXIST.
Things that are meant to be work out. While my soulmate isn’t in my life I know that he wasn’t THE soulmate, he was A soulmate. I am thankful that I met him because I started to lose hope that what I am looking for, whiled grounded in reality, doesn’t exist. He is proof that what I am looking for is real and tangible.
Dating the soulmate was a great first step for easing me back into the world of dating. After being badly hurt, by an old relationship I was very cautious to date again. The soulmate reminded me of how great dating can be when you are dating a mature man. He also opened the door to possibility and since then I have kept my heart open to that possibility and have been dating since.
5. You are on the right dating path.
The men that I have dated since, while many of them have been one date wonders, all have been good stand alone dates. Plus, each man encompasses aspects of what I am looking for and brings me closer to the long term relationship I seek.
6. Don’t settle.
A lot of people as they get older, when they feel like they are waiting forever they start to compromise themselves and settle into less then desirable relationships. It can be hard to live your life, when you hold on too tightly to your idea of how you pictured your life to play out. While your life may not be the life you imagined, it’s important to allow life to be what it needs to be for you. In order to do that, you need to stay strong and know that you are worth the relationship of your dreams. While it can get hard, the greatest rewards go to those who are patient.
I have always been a confident woman and have always known my worth, but I haven’t always asserted it. Since I have found my voice, my confidence has strengthened and the men that I have attracted into my life recently have been the highest quality of men I have met to date. It is also good to assert your value with those you are dating because the person will either rise up to treat you as you deserve, or flee. Plus, I have walked away from potential romantic partners because they were not in a space within their life to date or have a healthy relationship with me.
While I have been sad this week, knowing my personal journey, it’s comforting to see how far I have come with dating because I have been making conscious efforts to be ready for a romantic partner when the time is right. I learned more from the soulmate then I realized. I’m excited for what my dating future holds.