My vulnerability meter is on the rise with each word I type. My heart is pounding. I am pushing through toward a subject I don’t talk about. A very select amount of friends have a small insight on the topic of me and dating/ romantic relationships.
My sisters and I were raised in contrast to our Latin culture. My parents raised us to be independent, they nurtured us to believe we could be anything we wanted to be and never pressured us to want marriage and/or kids. We weren’t raised to be women who felt that we needed to be in romantic relationships to feel whole or that our purpose was to be a wife and mother. We have been at odds with our culture since we were kids, but felt the contrast when we hit adolescence. Societal pressures for woman to start preparing their lives for dating and marriage hit my sisters and I hard in high school and even more in college. Woman didn’t care about the fact that we were getting an education, they wanted to know if we were getting married or having kids and judged us silently when they learned that we were single.
I have always been realistic about romantic relationships. I’ve always wanted to be whole within myself and heart because I believe it is a good foundation to build a healthy relationship that will last. It wasn’t until three years ago that I discovered that I wanted to get married at some point in my future. That realization is a big deal for me, because I never wanted marriage until three years ago. Three years ago I set out to balance my life, because I knew there was more to life then the life I lived and I wanted to create space in my life for love. Three years later, I not only found my voice, but I lead a whole new life. While I am ready for the relationship and have dated and met some mature men, the universe hints that it’s not my time to be in a relationship because I am still in transition within my life and career. At times I get frustrated with single hood and wonder if I will be alone forever. Yet, I am grateful that I have taken the time, within single hood, to know who I am. With no known prospects in sight, I hold on to hope that I will meet a mature, spiritual man that can stand comfortably within my light. He will have a light that shines on it’s own and we will see eye to eye. I know I will meet him when the time is right.
Today’s Tune Tuesday song is my song to the universe of the love I desire.
Higher Love by Steve Winwood
Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is a wasted time
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine
Things look so bad everywhere
In this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind and we try to see
Falling behind in what could be
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Where’s that higher love I keep thinking of?
Worlds are turning and we’re just hanging on
Facing our fear and standing out there alone
A yearning, and it’s real to me
There must be someone who’s feeling for me
Things look so bad everywhere
In this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind and we try to see
Falling behind in what could be
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Where’s that higher love I keep thinking of?
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring be a higher love
I could rise above on a higher love
I will wait for it
I’m not too late for it
Until then, I’ll sing my song
To cheer the night along
Bring it… Oh bring it…
I could light the night up with my soul on fire
I could make the sun shine from pure desire
Let me feel that love come over me
Let me feel how strong it could be
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Where’s that higher love I keep thinking of?
Illuminated Voice 
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