This year has been filled with a series of trials that were harder than hard to experience but all valuable because of the lessons I received. My personal year (in numerology) is a nine year, which is the end of the cycle before I begin a new nine year journey (which starts on my birthday). The lessons I have experienced this year have been aligned with the meaning of a nine year which is about reflection and wrapping up the past nine year cycle. I have learned over the past few months just how much I have grown during my time here in Los Angeles and since college. I’ve made it in life! I have achieved my childhood goal of being a strong, self-knowing woman. I have spent the last few years balancing my life, nurturing my creativity, clearing the clutter and strengthening my newly found voice.
Finding my voice was my missing link to living fully in my pure essence. Among the lessons of the year I have learned that it is not enough to know your value, you have to assert it on a daily basis. I have learned to set boundaries and let go of people who do not measure up to my standards. I am kind, but I cannot be too kind anymore. My kindness has lead to some deep cuts in my heart, but I healed those cuts during my month of writing and since. While I have let go of everything that isn’t working for me and my life this year, I have experienced so much grace and love from the community. It is grace that is the most beautiful thing to experience especially when you start to wonder or doubt the journey that you are on.
I cried a soulful cry this week at the fading of a friendship that has gone on longer than it should have. While I have grown so much, I was reminded of who I was years ago and saw with new clear eyes that my friend and I have very different energies, lives and very different values. As I paid attention to how guarded I felt in just talking to this friend this week, I have to be true to my heart and my value and let this person go because they are treating me less then I deserve. I wondered if, when the universe would push me to release this person from my life because I wondered why I allowed them to remain in my life because of how much we have grown apart.
Finally, I am grateful to the universe for showing me the possibilities of what can be via the people I have met these past two years. I started to loose sight of the possible. It is so great to swim versus tread water in the great deep waters of my leap of faith. Determination can take you far, faith can take you farther because it is the belief that their can exist more beyond what you vision in your mind. The more you allow life to be, the more it truly expands for you. My wish for everyone is to let life breathe in your life and be as it was always intended to be.