I am a freelancer in the entertainment industry. I started a new job three weeks ago and two weeks ago I was promoted. With the promotion comes more work, longer hours, stress/tension in my body and I’ve been finding it hard to keep my balance. The loss of balance has challenged my personal life, my health, me time and writing time. I have felt exhausted the past two weekends and I am doing what I can to find balance in an industry where I feel few people genuinely have it. (It’s this realization that I had, almost three years ago that made me question the whole industry and fight for my life.)
I have not found my balance between the new job and my personal life, but today I was filled with gratitude that later extended into bliss that I felt ALL DAY! It’s been almost a year and a half since I took my leap of faith and the decision at the time was easy; but I didn’t think too hard about the road ahead, because it was necessary. Seven months of that time were filled with doubt, a doubt that felt too heavy to carry. Even though I knew I made the right decision for me, I questioned that decision with every life blow that came my way. It was in that doubt that I understood why people choose easy paths and stay within their comfort zones. I wanted to step back into the life I knew because it would feel like a warm blanket on a cold winters night, (Mindful Monday #74 – Life on Repeat) versus a Noah type storm that I was in without an ark, row boat or life jacket. (Above the Waves) (Face Your Fears) (Live Outside the Box)
Choosing to live life outside the lines feels like I imagine how four-wheeling feels: invigorating, bumpy, scary, but I am sure at times it feels like you are flying. Today I felt like I was winning. I was too tired yesterday to go out with a friend, so I honored my body and I stayed in and rested. I got so much rest that I woke up naturally with enough time to get coffee (my special treat) before I headed on to my improv class. As I drove to class I thought about how pleasant the morning was and what a gift it was to be up so early and not feel groggy and have time to be before my day began. I was excited for improv because it’s a part of my balance. (Life life and Improvisor)
Then I realized that:
the universe is naturally in balance, it wants the living to be in balance too and it will always provide a space for you to re-calibrate.
We just need to be mindful of those moments and appreciate them. Finding balance when your life is at peace, isn’t as amazing as finding balance in the chaos of life. To be at peace while you are in the storm, that is a true skill.