The Happy Ending or Happy Beginning?

Have you ever had a moment where something you said sticks with you? It’s not a statement you regret, but something deeper. Something simple that you said in the moment with little to no thought that lingers on in your mind long after the conversation ended. It’s almost like the thought begs you to explore it further.

I caught up with the leader of my former book club a month ago. We’ve known each other for a year and a half and it’s been a few months since we had a chance to really catch up. I told him that since he has known me I am the happiest I have ever been. After we talked, I thought about the truth of that statement. Am I the happiest I have ever been since he has know me? I was very happy during the time we met and during our book club. He met me a month prior to my leap of faith and was one of the first people I told when I decided to jump towards a bigger life. He’s known me during the roughest year of this journey and transformation. Then I thought, is this the happiest I have ever been in life? Were there moments where I was happier? I instantly realized I am the happiest I have been to date.

I feel happier because:

  • I let go of anything that was not working for me i.e. attachments, thoughts, words and relationships that expired or were holding me back.
  • I took back my power when I faced hard moments of my life during my month of writing.
  • I leaned into the struggles that this year has continually thrown at me and even when I wanted to quit I didn’t. Life keep cheering me on to push harder. And. I. Did.
  • I see progress in all areas of my life.
  • My confidence has double in my abilities. I have always known my potential, but the original belief was built on sand and now it is built on concrete.
  • I assert my worth. I have always known I am worthy and deserve a lot, but I never knew how to fully assert either. Since I have a stronger sense of self I don’t care if I piss a few people off, if it means owning my space, my time and my heart.
  • All my relationships are richer because I live in vulnerability. Being vulnerable has become second nature and I don’t know why I was ever scared?
  • I have a balance between work and my personal life and it’s taken me five years to find the right equation for me.
  • Finally, I am happier because I have the full use of my voice and am willing to be seen in a way that I was never fully been comfortable with until now.
  • Ultimately, I realize that this whole journey has been about my heart aligning with my soul which makes this entire journey worth it.

I am not happy, I am blissful!