Why am I writing? Should I continue to blog? Does my writing matter? I have been blogging a little over two years and this fall I started to question my blogging.
I started blogging to get comfortable (being uncomfortable) with complete vulnerability. Through this process I realized I love to write and want to pursue a career as a writer, but I write for something deeper.
Ever since I was a kid I have created spaces for people to breathe and be themselves. I have heard a lot of deep, dark, personal stories of pain, suffering and the desire to belong. I see a lot of people suffer in silence with the image that they are okay. From someone who told me she has never been happy and feels she was a mistake, to someone afraid to fall in love because they are afraid of loss, to people who told me stories of abuse, and suicide attempts; I have heard so much.
I am tired of witnessing silent suffering. Silence has never helped anyone. It creates an illusion that allows others to remain comfortable and think you are okay while they are oblivious to your silent truth, whatever that truth may be. If we each gave each other space to breathe and be, we’d be surprised with what we’d learn.
I had trouble finding Christmas spirit this year because I was holding back a truth that I could no longer keep to myself. Once I addressed the feeling of sadness (as a result of all that I lost this year), to a few friends and family, the burden lifted. Sadness no longer had power over me because I gave it space to be and it led me to a deeper understanding. My voice class taught me to own where I am and be okay with whatever emotion I feel in the moment. However, many of us were not raised to feel our emotions in their truest forms and are told (and tell each other) to bury them deep.
I write because I want others to know:
- Your thoughts, feelings and emotions make you human and you are not alone.
- You do not have to hide your authentic self, because your authentic self is enough.
- When you speak your truth, you allow others to speak their truth and then you start to see just how much you have in common with others.
- I want everyone to be comfortable with the uncomfortable moments of being vulnerable because that is where good healthy relationships begin.
- Push through your silence and fears and you will find a deep sense of true happiness.
My Christmas wish for you is to know and experience pure love, self acceptance and the warmth of genuine relationships that we are all capable of having when we surrender to all that make us human. Happy Holidays.
If any of my writing resonates with you please share your thoughts with me by writing a comment on this post or any post.