I remember when I was a kid, bullies existed, but not in the numbers that they exist today.

In the digital age, the stretch of bullying has extended past the classroom and school and gone into the individual homes of a child. Unlike previous generations, who had a safe haven at home; kids and teens are tormented online through social media and can never really unplug. Even though the statistics of bullies has grown, it has never accounted for the silent bully that exists in every home.

Last week I met up with a girlfriend. She and I were talking about our futures. I clearly describe to her my future it in full detail. She, on the other hand, struggled to describe or even list what she wanted or imaged for herself. As a friend, I expanded on the few details that she listed and built them up. She quickly stopped me and was clearly uncomfortable.

She told me she is not able to hear such positive ideas about herself and her future.

While my friend may be an extreme case, she is an example of the bully that exists within all or us. Too often we have thoughts, just thoughts, in our mind that tell us that we aren’t good, smart, pretty, thing, classy, fashionable etc. enough.

It’s this voice inside use, the ego, the bully that inhibits our happiness. It keeps us from taking risks that can get us to the next level. Risks that can lead us to love or the better career. This bully is even more toxic then an external bully because we at times except the negative thoughts that we have in our minds as truth. Our reality may be far different, but if the mind believes something different we often join it for the ride.

I have always believed and loved myself, but I found, through my awareness practice, places in my life that I can love a little more. Watching my habits for over 4 weeks has shown how much I have grown in my level self care. I have been making tiny adjustments to habits that are sticking because my intention for something different is stronger. Even when I doubt myself, I notice the thought and counteract it with a positive one. These simple shifts make all the difference.

Today’s Tune Tuesday speaks to the bully within. The person in the song has a realization at the end that is necessary for transformation. My hope is that everyone has that realization and believes in a life that is just a little lighter and brighter.

Bonus: Spend the next two week noticing one reoccurring negative thought that comes up in your mind and write it down on a small piece of paper. Each time the thought comes up within a week put a check on the piece of paper. For week two, when you have a negative thought and make a check on your paper, re-frame the thought into a positive statement out loud to yourself. If you do this activity, I would love to hear the results!!!

Love – Stephanie XO

“Me” by Paula Cole