Tune Tuesday #31 – The Bully Within

I remember when I was a kid, bullies existed, but not in the numbers that they exist today.

In the digital age, the stretch of bullying has extended past the classroom and school and gone into the individual homes of a child. Unlike previous generations, who had a safe haven at home; kids and teens are tormented online through social media and can never really unplug. Even though the statistics of bullies has grown, it has never accounted for the silent bully that exists in every home.

Last week I met up with a girlfriend. She and I were talking about our futures. I clearly describe to her my future it in full detail. She, on the other hand, struggled to describe or even list what she wanted or imaged for herself. As a friend, I expanded on the few details that she listed and built them up. She quickly stopped me and was clearly uncomfortable.

She told me she is not able to hear such positive ideas about herself and her future.

While my friend may be an extreme case, she is an example of the bully that exists within all or us. Too often we have thoughts, just thoughts, in our mind that tell us that we aren’t good, smart, pretty, thing, classy, fashionable etc. enough.

It’s this voice inside use, the ego, the bully that inhibits our happiness. It keeps us from taking risks that can get us to the next level. Risks that can lead us to love or the better career. This bully is even more toxic then an external bully because we at times except the negative thoughts that we have in our minds as truth. Our reality may be far different, but if the mind believes something different we often join it for the ride.

I have always believed and loved myself, but I found, through my awareness practice, places in my life that I can love a little more. Watching my habits for over 4 weeks has shown how much I have grown in my level self care. I have been making tiny adjustments to habits that are sticking because my intention for something different is stronger. Even when I doubt myself, I notice the thought and counteract it with a positive one. These simple shifts make all the difference.

Today’s Tune Tuesday speaks to the bully within. The person in the song has a realization at the end that is necessary for transformation. My hope is that everyone has that realization and believes in a life that is just a little lighter and brighter.

Bonus: Spend the next two week noticing one reoccurring negative thought that comes up in your mind and write it down on a small piece of paper. Each time the thought comes up within a week put a check on the piece of paper. For week two, when you have a negative thought and make a check on your paper, re-frame the thought into a positive statement out loud to yourself. If you do this activity, I would love to hear the results!!!

Love – Stephanie XO

“Me” by Paula Cole

I am not the person who is singing,
I am the silent one inside.
I am not the one who laughs at people’s jokes,
I just pacify their egos.
I am not my house, my car or my songs,
They are only stops along my way.
I am like the winter, I’m a dark cold female,
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave.[CHORUS:]
And it’s me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidenceI am carrying my voice
I am carrying a heart.
I am carrying the rhythm
I am carrying my prayers,
but you can kill my spirit, it’s old and it is strong,
And like a mountain I’ll go on and on.
But when my wings are folded,
The brightly colored moth blends into the dirt into the ground

And it’s me who is my enemy.
Me who beats me up.
Me who makes the monsters.
Me who strips my confidence.
And it’s me who’s too weak,
And it’s me who’s too shy to ask for the thing I love.
And it’s me who’s too weak,
And it’s me who’s too shy to ask for the thing I love.
But I love

I am walking on the bridge,
I am over the water,
And I’m scared as hell
But I know there’s something better.
(Yes I know, yes I know, yes I know, yes I know)

[CHORUS x2]