This year, I had a few realizations that I have not written about yet. I have only verbally shared some of those realizations with a handful of friends.
Some realizations require backstory in order to grasp the depth of the realization, others I am in the midst of understanding deeper and some I am not ready to share.
I am starting to see a pattern or link between realizations.
Once I found my source of happiness earlier this year; a few days later I found my source of love. A few seconds after, I realized I am ready for marriage. This was an odd realization to have because I am not in or anywhere near a relationship. This does not mean that I want to rush or force myself into marriage, I just realized that the typical fears we have around marriage have disappeared for me.
A month later I reached full self-acceptance.
Last week I fully accepted the possibility that I may be single the rest of my life. While I do not feel this will be my reality, I will be okay if it becomes my reality.
The fear is gone.
In preparation for this two month writing goal I was very excited. I am the most free I will ever be in life.
Kids have freedom in childhood because they know how to enjoy the moment. Adults live in freedom when they are single, because they don’t have obligations to a family or a romantic partner.
More of my friends are hitting midlife crisis, I am thankful I had my experience in singlehood before I added someone to the picture. I learned a lot about myself when I tried to balance my life and I was in the best place to explore yoga, improv, voice class, art, writing because it was just me.
I am growing quickly because I am not living in resistance and singlehood has provided the space to be.
I am not willing to compromise my balance for a man who does not add value to my life. Singlehood has provided the space to learn what type of partner I want through my relationships and self-awareness.
I am thankful for freedom.
Have a great Thursday!
Love – Stephanie XO
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