I’m Thankful for: Blowing Out the Walls of Fear

It’s almost a month since I have been back from my two month summer hiatus. I approached those months with intention. I wanted to write my first book, deepen my spirituality and focus on my health and energy.

Every step of the way there was a road block or detour. I breathed through each irritation and while I was frustrated at times and didn’t understand the road blocks, I knew they were leading me somewhere.

“Blow out these walls,” my improv instructor often advised.

He showed us ways to expand the physical space of a square stage by imagining a forest, mountain, mansion or tree house. We were trained to build those imagined locations through our actions (like indicating where a window is by opening an imaginary curtain, but making that action as real as life). Looking past the physical limitations of the stage, enhanced and expanded the stories we told.

Improv allows you to be playful, creative and in the moment in ways that our lives may not allow. Even with limitless possibilities, improvisers can get stuck in their head and habits and forget to think further outside their box.

In the vein of improv, this past weekend I was asked to imagine my future without limitation and make it real, as though it already happened. As I spoke my vision of my future, to my workshop partner, all the lessons from my hiatus came rushing back.

I realized I am where I need to be and I am the calmest I have ever been with so much unknown. My hiatus brought into focus two aspects of myself that I need to strengthen and I have been working on them every day. I have arrived to the end of that journey.

Next, I secretly intended to end a chapter of my life for these past four years. I have a morning routine and a meditation practice that is helping me stay grounded and present. While I didn’t write like I wanted to during my hiatus, I realized that I developed the tools I needed to write my book.

“I’ve blown out the walls of my fears,” I told my workshop partner. “I can do anything I want.” “I am ready. I am who I need to be to get to the next level.” He deeply felt the impact of my realization. Gone is the 1 to 10% of fear, doubt and uncertainty that has been present even with my track record of achievement. While fear may come up, it has little power over me. I am calmed and at peace and this realization and I am glowing and the glow appears to be hear to stay.

I’m thankful that this journey has not only gotten me to face bigger fears, but lead me to a place where the fears that could hold me back from my deepest wants no longer faze me. I did not know this journey was about this all along.

My you deeply know the calm, peace and love like I am being shown on a daily basis.

Love – Stephanie XO

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