I don’t want to talk about marriage. It’s the last thing I want to talk about.

As a little girl, I was an observer. I spent much of my time in silence and observed more then I spoke. I often saw more than most of my peers. As we grow older, we tend to observe far less, but I never dropped the level of which I observe.

What I observed and heard as a child, from the elders I encountered, informed how I live my life.

I avoided writing about this subject. I opened my life to the possibility of marriage three years ago. One year ago, I realized I am not afraid of it and ready for it. Then 10 months ago I started to encounter women who challenged my views on marriage.

People are not naturally as candid and honest about marriage in our society, as they have been with me. I am appreciative of the people I encountered and I believe I received honesty, because I speak so honestly. 

We are told what marriage is suppose to be and do what we can to live and uphold that idea. We, to even more extremes, feel the need to uphold that idea for ourself and for others security and comfort, specifically if they are single.

I can not shake the things that I have heard and learned last year. Life called me to throw out what I knew about marriage and reexamine it. I am perplexed with what the universe is trying to tell or show me.

These series of posts are written, with hesitation, by a curious person who wants to make an informed decision on where I stand on this subject. I do not want to be influenced by how we have been socialized to view it and desire it. I want to know the truths, half truths and unspoken truths. I want to deeply understand what life is trying to show me.

Perhaps the universe has injected my peace with marriage, because I seek to know life’s truth and  thus, seek to speak truth or describe truths that are revealed to me as clearly as I can?

Love – Stephanie XO