Marriage: Where do I stand?

This series on Marriage has been very interesting to experience.

I did not anticipate, that when I meditated on love last year that I would realize I was ready for marriage.

I also didn’t anticipate that marriage would pop-up and start a conversation with me. It was as though it longed to be seen and heard.

I did not anticipate where the writing or meditation would take me each step of the way. Wisdom showed up everywhere. I only wanted to write four posts, but the writing would not stop.

I am glad I wrote through my fear. Had I not shared these stories, I would have kept them to myself. I don’t feel our society is as open, as it wants to be, longs to be or needs to be, to have real, honest or eye squinting conversations.

I was silent as long as possible. Had I kept my silence I would not have uncovered even more wisdom or realizations. 

It felt like these realizations patiently waited for me to bring them to light. Two months ago, I knew where I stood on this subject for myself, but through this process it changed. I had the piece written, but I could not post it because it no longer aligned with me.

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I absolutely love my singlehood and my life. I am not a woman just saying words like the women who say they are happy single and want to be single for a year or awhile, yet are on the prowl every time they are in public.

At different times of my life, I thought I was ready for a relationship. Shortly after my declaration, I encountered areas of future growth that I needed to address. Each time I worked through what came up, it deepened my self awareness, and provided more clarity with what I look for in a romantic partner and relationship.

Over a year ago, I realized that I moved beyond the woman I wanted to be into a woman that I never thought I could be, because it was beyond my imagination. Now I continually find myself in a place I never expected.

I genuinely love my life as a single woman. I often felt that being in this place was a myth, now I know that it’s real. “I get it,” I think to myself. “This is what those women meant when they said they love their singlehood.

When I was asked to think of three relationships that I want for myself, the initial couples I thought about are all in long term relationships or marriage. What I realized those couples all have a spiritual foundation and good communication. When I am in their presence, I can see and hear the love they have for each other. That is what I want for my life.

I am open to dating, ready for a long term relationship, but I’m not focusing my time or energy on either. It’s my intention to continue to live presently in the moment and enjoy it. I seek grow and wish to deepen my spirituality. If I meet someone in this energy and space, awesome. I am open to marriage with the right man, but I won’t die if I don’t get married. Equal partnership is the most important thing to me.

For the person out there that is reading this post, who is unsure of what they want for their life,  don’t be agreeable, follow your heart. Marriage and relationships are a big deal, because of the amount of time and energy required to really nurture a relationship to it’s full potential. Love does not cut it. You need effective communication, know how to have constructive arguements, know how to compromise, have the similar values and have talked about the type of marriage or family you want before you are in those situations.

If you are married or single, neither one defines you. You define yourself for you. Let your self definiation be one of happiness, wholeness and genuine self love. Only from there, will you meet the love and partner that matches you, your enegry and your love.

 

With deep love – Stephanie XO