People find shelter in my presence.
They find comfort in the fact that they feel seen and heard when they spend time with me. “You’re easy to talk to,” both friends and strangers alike have told me.
It’s interesting to see people acknowledge, in recent weeks, that they “dump” on me. They dump their secrets, struggles, deepest yearnings or anything they hold within and do not share with others.
Often I am asked, what should I do?
I have a deep sense and sometimes see how the persons life will unfold on their current path. While I know what I feel one should say or do in a situation, I also know that people will only act or do what they feel ready to do.
I have developed a new habit in these situations as a result of these experiences. it’s one that I feel shows my growth and maturity and the over all acceptance that I can’t do anything for anyone.
There is a women that I mentor to some capacity. She is deep in a struggle that she has been in for at least a year or more. In her latest reach out to me she acknowledge that she dumped on me her struggle. She started taking active steps towards her own freedom, but she is slowly back sliding. She needed inspiration to look at her struggle differently and didn’t know where else to turn.
I was at a lost of words for her. Her email warranted a timely, thoughtful response, but my work week did not provide the for me. As I got ready to write her email, I wanted to tell her what to do, but she doesn’t have the courage yet to do it. I can’t give her courage either, but I can show her the way. My email was one, with nothing but questions to help her build her courage.
I feel someone out there needs to read this, so I will share a portion of what I told her.
“You can either live hidden, which is slowly draining you or you can move forward at the possibility of living more freely. […] Do you feel “allowed” to be happy as you define happiness? Think of the time when you were the happiest. Really imagine that place. What doest it sound, smell and look like and how does it feel? When was the last time you felt that amazing? Have you ever felt that amazing? What is keeping you from feeling amazing?”
Life is a beautiful-struggle. Life is beautiful as it is, and it has it’s challenges. Our mission is to find our center in deep open of life shifts and challenges. The best way we can get there is to ask ourselves and others questions towards their own growth and happiness.
For today’s Mindful Monday consider asking more questions to yourself, your family, your co-workers, bosses and great society. Questions may be hard to heard, the sometimes the answers may be harder. No one ever said life would be easy, but it’s necessary to wake ourselves up to the limitations we place on ourselves or have allowed others to place on us.
With Deep Love – Stephanie XO