I know I made the right choice. I know I am on the right path.
This part of my life is over. Last week, I felt this finality for the first time and I have felt it every day since.
I knew I was leaving, since October, and it gave me time to say my goodbyes. When I moved here from my home town, over seven years ago, I wrote down a list of people I wanted to see before I left. This time I told the universe to let me know who it wants me to see before I leave. Anyone that comes to mind, I reached out to and I have seen the majority of them.
What has been the hardest this past week is identifying new relationships, to my surprise, that have run their course or are on their last leg. It’s challenging to see some friendships, that I held dear, in this light. I know this sadness I feel is the result of attachment, and I honor the emotion. I am thankful to see the truth.
Some of my friends are sad or struggling to see me go. One of my friends insisted that we see each other before I go, and when I reached out he said: “We’ll play it by ear.”
No, we won’t play it by ear. I am leaving in 12 days. I feel called to be away for the year and I am not certain I will be back. You may never see me in the flesh again or in the current container that our friendship is in.
Other friends have resurfaced and I let them know I am leaving. With these friendships, while we have talked about catching up before I go, I have accepted that I will most likely not see them before I leave. I have also thrown a few balls to friends, and the balls are on the ground. (There is a silver lining to this story, which I will share in a later post.)
As we get older, the play that we had in childhood transitions into outings at the bar, club, coffee shops, sporting events, camping trips etc. In adulthood we are still at play in our own way.
The best or true relationship are those that reciprocate our games of tag and catch.
On this Mindful Monday, I invite you to consider if you are playing catch or tag with someone or groups of people that are not tagging you or throwing the ball back.
Are you continuing to tag and throw endless balls at people i.e. over accommodating someone and calling it a friendship or a relationship? Are you afraid to keep the ball on the ground, or walk away? What keeps you in a stale relationship or friendships?
Consider loosening your grip, just a little today, on a relationship that is not being nurtured mutually. Consider that warm relationships are on the horizon, if only you removed the stale ones.
Love – Stephanie XO