According to Plan

Happy Friday! It’s almost two months since I moved.

The entire month of May was defined by rest. I was seeing various doctors, attending physical therapy and resting from my therapies, from an accident I was in back in February. How I spent my May, was not how I wanted to spend it. However, I surrendered to what May became and allowed my body to rest in the ways it needed.

In June, I visited my sister in Texas to co-lead a writing workshop for Latina adolescent girls. The workshops were wonderful, we did a lot of great work with the girls and they bonded in the most authentic ways. This was the best program we have lead together. The program was very, very demanding with all the time and energy it required from planning and preparation to execution and reflection. This was the first time we ran the program all day versus a few hours a day. There was very little time for my sister and I to catch up or see the city. On the days we weren’t working on the program, my sister was working on other aspects of her job. My time with her was not how I imagined it would be, but I accepted it.

Resisting how May and June went versus how I wanted it to go, would have done nothing more for me than get me agitated or angry. I am a few weeks away from July. I can already see signs that it may not go how I want it to go. Still I will walk with open hands and arms fully knowing July may not turn out how I intend for it to be.

Part of adulting and living life is knowing good and well that life will most likely not work out how you imagined. It’s loosing that job that you loved or not even getting the job you wanted. It’s meeting the person of your dreams, but timing being the culprit in why the relationship had to end. It’s realizing the job you have may be smaller in comparison to the creativity and capability you have inside you.

A part of adulthood is disillusionment. Each upset and disappointment offers space for wisdom, strength, community etc. to emerge.

What a shame it would be if life always worked out according to plan. How small would we remain if it wasn’t for life to pull out the best in us and get us to rise in ways we never thought possible.