I woke up Wednesday morning feeling the most rested I’ve felt in two weeks.
In recent weeks I would wake up in the middle of the night or twice in a night then go back to sleep. Or I would sleep through the night, but wake up early (between the hours of 4am – 6am) and stay awake.
I love school, but I haven’t found my rhythm with my schedule yet. Every 3-4 weeks, my schedule changes, because of how the classes start and end. School is emotionally exhausting because of the content, which makes me cherish my time of stillness and silence at home.
I have been taking a prosperity class outside of my regular schooling, for the past 5 weeks. In this class we are learning and practicing the spiritual principals of prosperity.
Tuesday night after school I rested at home. I was so cozy, I considered missing class. Deep down I knew I should go to class and be present with the people in my small prayer group, so I went to class.
The topic for the week was forgiveness. I know the power of forgiveness because I have practiced it in my own life. It frees you from the hold a challenging moment or person may have had on you. There were new tools I learned in this class, which I will incorporate into my practice beyond class. I also had an aha moment.
While I have forgiven people who hurt me in my adult life, I never forgave the kids that hurt me in childhood. I simply learned from those early experiences and moved on. Since emotions do not come up, when I speak of my childhood experiences, I thought I had forgiven the people involved. Those early experiences really shaped how I carry myself in the world. I have noticed that I have been leaning on them a lot lately. I wondered when I would heal the root causes of my pain or the story I often told myself. I felt like I betrayed myself this whole time because of this over sight. My heart immediately started to hurt and I felt strong sadness. I started to cry, but did so in a way that would not draw attention to me.
A member of my prayer group talked about his life long challenge of forgiving someone from his childhood for experiences he had growing up. There was a lot more he unpacked as we each listened intently. The group gave suggestions, but I refrained. I told him I have tools he could use, but I asked if it were okay if I shared them with him. He said yes. The two main tools I offered, I gained over the years through my own wellness practice. I felt like I offered him two activities that he never tried, and they could bring his heart closer to healing and even peace.
When class ended, my group did something we have never done before, we hugged. The man from my group specifically thanked me for showing up and being in our group. I was perplexed at first. The thought, I have been in your group from the start popped in my mind. I realized he was thanking me for being there that specific night.
When I woke up Tuesday morning, I had a second aha moment. I was at the right place at the right time, not for myself, but for this person in my group. Of all the synchronicity that I have had in the past few years, I am getting them, more often. I am on the right path.
This Thursday, I am thankful for being at the right place at the right time to help another person with their own healing.
Love, Stephanie XO