Wisdom Wednesday #9 – Grow Through Relationships

I studied human communication in school, which is the study of how people communicate beyond words.  In my relational communication course I have learned a lot about the escalation and de-escalation of relationships, how they thrive, how they work and how they end.  Ever since I gained this knowledge I constantly read articles that I find about relationships both romantic and platonic.  Today’s Wisdom Wednesday post features one of my favorite relationship bloggers James Michael Sama.  In his post “Don’t Just Go through Relationships, Grow through Relationships” he argues why all relationships are important even the relationships that end.

“Don’t Just Go through Relationships, Grow through Relationships”– By James Michael Sama

Breakups happen every day. Some people get back together, some don’t. Sometimes it’s a mutual feeling, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes you’re the one who wants it to end, sometimes you’re not.

And sometimes, neither person wants it to, it’s just by virtue of circumstances or the situation at hand.

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You are going to get hurt, in life and in relationships. You will give too much to people and willingly risk your emotional well-being. Some might betray you. Some might take advantage of you. And even if your relationship is great, if you don’t marry them, the undeniable fact is that some day, the two of you will part ways.

So, if it’s going to end, then what’s the point, right?

Each person we come across in the course of our lives will leave a mark on us…if we allow it. They will help us grow, teach us new things, and show us different views on the world. These situations are valuable to personal growth. Sometimes two people grow together, and sometimes apart, but it’s important to remember that both people are in fact, growing.

Every great meal you’ve ever had, every great movie you’ve ever watched, and every experience that has ever made you smile, has ended. Do we therefore deny the purpose of these experiences? Do we refuse to participate in them, or say there is no point to them because they do eventually end? No, of course not – because they are what make life beautiful.

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If we lived our lives constantly fearing the emotions we may feel if someday our current relationships end, then we would never begin any new ones. We would never share new experiences with new people and build new memories. We would be denying ourselves every pleasure that life can offer us.

The key is to continue looking into the future. To create things for ourselves to look forward to. To always be learning and growing – so that we don’t fall into the age-old trap of longingly looking at the door which closed, and not notice the other opened one across the room.

To quote Homer from The Iliad, “Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again.” Doesn’t this make our experiences even more beautiful, and not less? Are we not more compelled to enjoy an experience more, if we are faced with the realization that it someday, may come to an end?

Live your life from a place of happiness, never of sadness or regret. Understand the importance of exploring the endless beauty that the world can offer you – and you will never be left wanting for it. Develop an insatiable thirst for passion, and you will find that it is all around you.

Love others, love your experiences, and most of all – love yourself, so much so, that you understand your happiness comes from within, and the people and experiences who fill our time here on earth enhance your joy, but are not the sole source of it.

Remember – “every new beginning is some other beginning’s end.”

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