It’s been almost two weeks since I have been back in Los Angeles from my month of meditation.  While I gained knowledge each day on various aspects of my life and the human condition, I find it very hard to explain the sum of that experience.  When I start to explain what I have learned from all lessons combined, all I can do is describe the feeling and perspective that I have gained.  I am having trouble naming the bigger lesson.  It’s the bigger lesson that answers the question why is this happening?  If you speak multiple languages it’s that moment when you know what you want to say, but you can’t find the word to relay the exact message you want to convey.  Or when you try to translate a saying that gets lost in its translation’s

This bigger lesson is shaping how I now see the world, hear the world and respond to the world.  The more I learn about myself, the more honest I become to myself, to others and to life.  In return, I receive honesty.  Total honesty.  As a result, I find what I believed to be true; life truths or personal truths crumble like sand.   As a result life becomes clear and then my beliefs, perspective and life shift.  Don Miguel Ruiz, who wrote The Four Agreements, would define this shift as letting go of “old agreements” and making “new agreements.”

My life is shifting so much and so quickly that it feels like I am living in an earthquake.  At times fear hugs me tightly, because I am afraid.  This leap of faith is the most challenging goal I have ever committed to.  But the fear doesn’t last long and isn’t as strong as it might have been in the past.  In those moments, I see the growth I have gained in staying calm, centered and mindful.

This morning I came across a quote that speaks to me and it’s the best explanation to describe the bigger lesson I have learned during my month of writing.

While my leap of faith is challenging me beyond what I could ever imagine, it is with each lesson gained that I am grateful to have this life changing experience.

Further reading on the Four Agreements: http://www.toltecspirit.com/