It’s Monday! My quest for personal growth and my love to be in community with spiritual people, on top of my curiosity towards holistic/ new age knowledge, brought me to a cool community circle called “The Council”.

This specific circle focused on speaking off the cuff, openly and honestly, while the group actively listened with no follow up to build on someones words or counter argue some one else’s reality. It was beautiful.

The topic of the night was on RESOLVE and it was divine timing to have this conversation come up, which you will understand as you read further).

We were asked five questions questions:

1. What does Resolution mean to you?
2. When did you achieve a resolution or goal that you set?
3. When did you not reach a resolution or goal?
4. What do you need to let go of to reach a resolution?
5. What resolution do you want to set going forward?

Question number one was asked, then the person who had an answer first answered. Next, we went around the circle counter clockwise for each person to answer, if they wanted to answer. Then the second question was asked, the person who felt called to answer first answered and the circle continued on in this manner for each question. No one knew the questions ahead of time, the question was asked by the facilitator each round.

Everyone who spoke answered each questions as you can imagine you would answer if you were asked. It wasn’t until we reached the fourth question where I diverted. I was not trying to be original, I was just holding up the intention to speak off the cuff, openly and honestly.

“What do I need to let go of to reach a resolution?” My mind was blank. I waited a few seconds for something to come. “My mind is blank, but I want to talk about letting go. I learned to let go three years ago. Now it has become my way of life and it’s something I advocate for. I have let go so much and so often that it has gotten easier. I feel like I am becoming calloused, because I don’t resist letting go anymore. I just allow it. I don’t even know what I should hold on to?  Or if I should be holding on to anything at all? I’ve been struggling with this a lot lately and I am frustrated because of all that I have let go of.”

I became emotional as I spoke, because I have thought about this topic a lot. I feel like I am the only one here.

Letting go creates space for new people, opportunities and energy to come into your life. My life does not resemble the life I had prior to when I first started to mindfully let go. In my quest for balanced relationships my already small group of close friends is even smaller. I feel I am calloused because of the amount of relationships I either took a step back from or released to allow them to be what they need to be over what I want them to be. A lot of new has come into my life and a lot of it is already in my past. Is life meant to be this fluid? Are we really meant to have no attachment? 

I am learning to enjoy the present even more because of how quickly I have seen it all change.

I am nice, but I have often been too nice. I have some times been kinder than what others deserve. Perhaps what I need to let go of is the idea that “being nice” means that you need to sacrifice yourself and yourself own preservation for others beyond what is healthy. I need to be okay with being selfish when I need it by maintaining my boundaries without regret. Finally, I need to not judge myself in the process of becoming sting in this area of my life.

On this Monday of April, still in the season of renewal, what do you need to let go of to create space for what you desire?