I stepped away from yoga a month ago, after I fell, because my knee needed time to heal.
My knee was not visibly swollen, but it was hard to bend it or put pressure on it. Skin also had to regenerate, which took a long time.
I noticed my hips felt tight, in one class, I thought nothing of it, but made a note to do more hip stretches. In another, class my instructor noticed that I wasn’t doing the full expression of warrior two. I then noticed that I was compensating because my left thigh was tight. Another pose, posed a challenge for me and brought me to notice that my whole left side of my body is tight. I felt sad with that realization.
I am sad and disappointed at how much of an impact that fall had and still has on me. I want the fall to be behind me, yet the physical scar burned into my knee, is a representation of the memory that has been burned into my brain.
There are times in our lives where we have challenging experiences that changes us. Some of us pick up and move forward from such experiences and never think about the challenge again. Others, get stuck in the trauma or challenge and re-traumatize themselves (usually outside of their awareness). Yet others work through the challenge and learn what they can as they go. The degree in which we learn from an experience, informs the level of depth of a “surprising moment”.
Breakdowns don’t happen in a vacuum, they are built up over time as a result of suppressed emotions or experiences that we don’t address until everything comes to a head. When you don’t deal with hard experiences, it will always comes to a head. I’ll call this the surprising moment.
Be mindful of the surprising moment.
Life wants us to be healed, balanced and whole. In order to do that, we need to address any wounds or pains from our past that have not fully healed. Sometimes we think we are completely fine from an experience, but in the next moment, month or year, we discover how deeply hurt, betrayed or abandoned we really felt.
My tightness in my body is a reminder of three times in my life, when I thought I was okay or healed from an experience, but later realized more healing/ understanding was needed.
If you had a hard experience lately and feel great, a surprising moment may be upon you at some point or another. Please consider taking time for yourself and giving yourself space to heal, even if you don’t think it’s necessary. Be kind to yourself, if something comes up in that space. If you refuse to make space for yourself or for your healing, the surprising moment will find a way for you to make space for yourself.
The tightness on the left side of my body is also a reminder that small falls or upsets, can have bigger effect on us then we realize.
This week, consider what experience you are having or had in your recent or distant past that may be lingering in your body, your heart or your mind. Give space for that experience to shed light on the lesson/ wisdom you may have missed. Give space for yourself to heal. Give space for yourself to feel. Once you’ve done any or all of these, give yourself a hug, create an affirmation or pamper yourself in some way that makes you feel warm. Remember the only way is through.
Love – Stephanie XO